Interview with Kathryn King, Period and Menstrual Health Educator, on Period Sex

I’m Kathryn, I run Bloody Honest which sees me providing period and menstrual health education to all! I help people who period build the knowledge and tools they need to understand and manage their periods and menstrual cycle; I help people who don’t menstruate understand and support those in their life who do; and I help everyone see the harm the period stigma does and work to challenge it in their every-day!

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Are there any particular benefits to having sex during your period?

Yes, there are definitely benefits to having period sex! The main one is that orgasms can help period pains – winner! The contractions caused by orgasm can help release the tension in your uterus which can ease period pains. There is also some research that suggests period sex can make your that cycle shorter; the theory is that when the uterus contracts during orgasm, it helps push the blood out faster which means the job is done in less time!

What are the downsides to having sex during your period?

It can certainly get messy! I’m not doing to lie and tell you that it’s all flowers and roses – if you’re not a fan of a clean-up, then period sex may not be for you, and that’s okay! There is also an increased risk of transmitting certain viruses like HIV or Hepatitis. If someone carries one of these viruses, they can be transmitted through the blood – this includes menstrual blood. So with period sex, there is a higher chance of transmitting these viruses because of the increase in the amount of bodily fluids in the mix. This just means that practicing safer sex (condoms and dental dams) is still just as, if not more, important during period sex.

Can you get pregnant as a result of period sex?

Prepare for a truth bomb here… Yes! You can get pregnant from P in V period sex. But, it’s quite rare. Let me explain. It tends to only be a risk for people with a shorter cycle i.e. around 20 days. Let’s say someone has a menstrual cycle of 20 days and their period lasts the first 5 days of their cycle. Sperm can actually stay alive in the body for up to 7 days after ejaculation so, if they have sex towards the end of their period (i.e. during days 3 – 5), the sperm can live in the body until days 10 – 12. For someone with a short cycle of around 20 days, it wouldn’t be unreasonable to say that they might ovulate (release an egg) around day 10. So, there is a chance that you will ovulate while there is still sperm in the body. Like I said, it’s not very common, a lot of different factors have to line up, but it is still possible.

Why do you think there is a stigma around period sex?

I think this comes from the belief that periods are gross and dirty, when they really aren’t. Of course, some people do have a genuine phobia of blood, but often a disgust at periods and menstrual blood just comes from centuries of conditioning to think that way.

How popular is period sex?

It’s definitely more popular than you’d think! It’s not for everyone which is completely fine, but a lot of people like the idea of it and are embarassed to talk to their partner about it. It’s actually quite common to find that your partner doesn’t find it as weird as you think they might, and they may even be thinking the same thing!

Any tips for making period sex as safe and pleasurable as possible?

As with all sex, the most important thing is communication. Have a conversation with your partner about whether they would be comfortable having period sex, what their limits might be, ways you can reduce the amount of blood. It’s still really important to use condoms and dental dams because you are still at risk of transmitting STIs – some even more so. And finally, if you are going to have penetrative vaginal sex and you use a tampon or cup, make sure you remove it! They can do some damage if left in.

Any tips for making period sex less ‘messy’?

There are lots of people who would like period sex but can’t be dealing with the mess and honestly, I get it! But there’s also lots of things you can do to help it not look like a murder scene. You could use dark bedding; put a towel or two down; have sex in the shower so the blood washes away as you go; use condoms/dental dams to limit contact with the blood; have sex towards the end of your period so your flow isn’t as heavy; have other kinds of sex that don’t involve vaginal penetration like oral, clitoral stimulation or anal so you can keep your a tampon or cup in; and there’s even a period product called a menstrual disc that you can wear during vaginal penetration for completely mess-free period sex! And remember that if you get blood on fabric, the best thing to get the stain out is soaking it in COLD water and salt – yes I said cold water. Trust me!

Any recommended reading/watching/following/listening in relation to periods and sex?

@proudofmyperiod

@yourperiodpal

@gynaegossip

@putacupinit (recommendations on menstrual discs),

@redmoongang

The infamous period sex scene in “I May Destroy You” – first time I’ve seen period sex depicted in mainstream media!

Grace Alice Sex And Relationships Educator

Thank you, I'll be in touch soon...

Disclaimer

This service is fully limited to Sexuality Education. All advice is given in an honest manner and as guidance only. By using this service, you agree that you make your own decisions, relying solely on your discretion; any use you make of such answers, advice or services is at your own risk and ‘Grace Alice Sexuality Educator’ cannot be held responsible or be liable for any damages or losses resulting from your reliance on such answers or advice.

What is a peer-to-peer support session?

Firstly, let us start with what the session is not! I am not a practicing sex therapist, sexologist, medical professional, psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional. Therefore, I do not provide medical advice (although I may recommend that you seek guidance from a medical professional if appropriate) or a therapy service.

Sex & Relationships Education is a separate field to these professions, and I employ my own unique approach based on my qualifications, training, and experience. I hold an undergraduate degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters degree in Health Promotion. I have over six years experience working as a Sex & Relationships Educator and have undergone continuous professional development and training. I also studied empathy education as a UNESCO scholar, which informs my approach. Details of my qualifications and training are available on my LinkedIn page – please see the ‘About’ page also!

Within a session, I offer a confidential and safe space for discussion of various issues relating to relationships and sexuality. I strive for a relaxed, informal vibe, where you can chat about something that you have been struggling with. I can offer a friendly and non-judgemental listening ear, suggestions on how you can approach your own personal situation, general information on the related topic(s) and details of relevant professionals, support services and organisations (usually in a follow-up email). I can accommodate sessions relating to many topics relating to relationships and sexuality – including but not limited to body image, sexual communication, consent and boundaries, protection, anatomy, vaginismus, porn, STIs and STI stigma, healthy and unhealthy relationships, gender and sexuality, pleasure, arousal, desire, infidelity, break-ups, dating, and more.  I want my clients to feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to talk without fear or shame, like they would with a very close friend!

How does a Booking work?

In a nutshell, you can contact me via the booking page on this site and request a booking. If I decide that a session with me would be a good fit for you, I will contact you and arrange a time and date!

Here is the pricing for sessions;

ServiceDurationCost
Standard Session1 hour€50
Student* Standard Session1 hour€40
   
*A valid student I.D. must be presented.  

Please note that the session must be paid for in full at least 24 hours prior to the session, using the payment method and details I will provide to you in an email. If you do not have PayPal, we can arrange another form of payment (Revolut or bank transfer – please factor in the extra time it will take you to set up an account if needed or the possible delay in bank transfers, this may slightly affect the scheduling of your session).

Due to the nature of this service, I cannot offer any refunds for any reason during or after a session.

However, if you have paid and can no longer attend the scheduled session, I can offer you a full refund if you notify me of the cancellation at least 48 hours beforehand. If you wish to reschedule, please notify me at least 48 hours before the time of the scheduled session, and we can work something out!

Am I guaranteed to have a session?

Imay choose not to do a session with you if I feel that I am unable to offer support or education relating to your situation. I will contact you to let you know if I have decided that my service is not a good fit for you, and I will offer some suggestions regarding more suitable professionals/organisations/services to contact.

Although we may chat about lots of different things during a session, if someone has clearly not been truthful in the booking form about the topic area that want to discuss and appear to have an ulterior motive in booking the session, I may choose to end the session. The same rule applies to a situation where someone is clearly not who they have stated they are in the booking form. 

I cannot offer sessions to anyone under the age of 18 years. I may choose to ask you to present a copy of a valid form of I.D. if I feel that confirmation of age is needed. Requesting to book a session indicates that you are aged 18 years or over, and that you are being truthful in disclosing your age.

If I feel that someone is being disrespectful, offensive, or inappropriate, and I feel uncomfortable, I may choose to end the session. I may also end the session if I believe that it is being recorded.

Is it all confidential?

Y

es! Confidentiality is essential to a service like this and I will do everything in my power on my end to protect it.

Here is what I will do on my end; I will abide by GDPR guidelines and make every effort to keep all personal information relating to sessions safe. Booking requests and emails with a form attached/included will be retained for no more than 1 year. The form may be printed, and I may take notes before, during and after the session either by hand or typed. Forms, notes, and USB key will all be stored in a locked file safe in my home office. All forms and notes (hard and soft copies) will be deleted and/or destroyed after one year.  I will send you a Zoom Meeting ID and password before the session using the email address you have given me. I will use headphones and will be alone in a private space during all sessions. All  records of calls and video calls will be deleted after one year.

Please be mindful of what you choose to share within the session. I have an obligation to break confidentiality and report to Tusla and/or the Gardaí any disclosures of child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and other crimes.

Here is what you must do on your end! You must not screenshot, record and/or distribute any part of your session. It is also your responsibility to protect your privacy as much as you like on your end. This may include keeping your phone password-protected, using a non-identifiable email address that does not include your name, deleting correspondence, making sure you have a private space for your session where you will not be interrupted or overheard, etc.

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