Sarah Casper is a consent educator and the founder of Comprehensive Consent. She helps parents give their children the foundational understanding of relationships, body boundaries, and practical consent skills that they need to create healthy partnerships with others throughout their life. Sarah lives in Brooklyn, NY, and came to teaching consent through her acroyoga practice. Check out her page to learn more!
How young can we start teaching children about consent?
Informally, you can start when your child is an infant! Talking to babies as you feed them, bathe them, and change their diapers can already help them to understand that their body belongs to them. Validating an infant’s discomfort is another way you can introduce consent from the get-go. Then, as they grow, you can introduce new concepts.
Why do we need to specifically teach them about consent?
We saw from the rise of the #MeToo movement in 2017 that the incidence of sexual assault is a global pandemic. Too many people don’t understand the importance of consent (or they do but they certainly don’t practice it). We need to concretely teach children about how to practice consent so that we can nurture a generation of empowered humans who truly understand the importance of body sovereignty and resolve this crisis.
What are some barriers that come up for parents and caregivers in relation to talking to kids about consent?
It’s really difficult to teach something you were never taught. Parents & caregivers struggle with how to have these conversations because this was something they have still never learned about. Survivors of sexual assault can have an especially difficult time teaching their kids about consent. These conversations can be triggering to their inner child who needed this information when they were young.
What are some things that can help parents and caregivers re. talking to kids about consent?
I recommend parents and caretakers ask themselves the question, “Am I abusing my power?”. When it comes to parenting, you are bigger, stronger, have more access, more money, more power. Your responsibility is to not abuse that power – to not pick them up without asking, to not make them hug grandma, to not decide what they do & how they do it. It’s a parent’s responsibility to listen to their child; it’s not a child’s responsibility to listen to their parent.
How do we draw the line between educating kids about the importance of consent and autonomy, while also being an authoritative figure?
The two aren’t mutually exclusive. Authoritative parenting actually parallels consent values. Authoritative parenting is marked by high responsiveness & high demands. This means that parents are available & supportive of their child’s needs & emotions while having clear standards & boundaries. Similar to what I teach in my programs, consent means being clear about your boundaries and needs while also being sensitive to the perspective, needs, and boundaries of others.
Are there any fun ways we can teach kids about consent?
Absolutely! Create “what if” scenarios to get your child thinking about the who, what, where, and when of consent, play a game where you make outlandish requests and the other player has to say their “no” clearly and assertively, roleplay positive and negative consent behaviors. Teaching consent can absolutely be fun.
What advice would you give to a parent/caregiver or anyone who works with kids who might feel nervous about tackling this topic?
These are hard conversations because they are often so opposite to the values on which we were raised. Like I mentioned before, it’s hard to teach what you were never taught. Start somewhere. Be gentle with yourself. Get support. Remember the learner’s mindset. There is no such thing as perfect, only progress.
Any recommended reading/watching/following in relation to talking to kids about consent?
My website has a free downloadable list with reviews of consent books for parents, for kids, & for adults who are interested in consent as a theory.
I would love to shout out some of my favorite people to follow on this topic: @consentparenting is my go-to for all things child abuse prevention from a consent mindset. @nedratawwab is a “boundaries expert” and shares practical & supportive content on the hard work of boundary-setting. @unconditional_parenting and @sternasuissa do not focus specifically on consent but their work is so aligned with consent values. I learn from these people every day.
Have a question? Want to work with me? Don’t hesitate to reach out to me with any query you may have. Please note that this form is not for making bookings for coaching sessions (please visit my Booking page for more details).
This service is fully limited to Sexuality Education. All advice is given in an honest manner and as guidance only. By using this service, you agree that you make your own decisions, relying solely on your discretion; any use you make of such answers, advice or services is at your own risk and ‘Grace Alice Sexuality Educator’ cannot be held responsible or be liable for any damages or losses resulting from your reliance on such answers or advice.
Firstly, let us start with what the session is not! I am not a practicing sex therapist, sexologist, medical professional, psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional. Therefore, I do not provide medical advice (although I may recommend that you seek guidance from a medical professional if appropriate) or a therapy service.
Sex & Relationships Education is a separate field to these professions, and I employ my own unique approach based on my qualifications, training, and experience. I hold an undergraduate degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters degree in Health Promotion. I have over six years experience working as a Sex & Relationships Educator and have undergone continuous professional development and training. I also studied empathy education as a UNESCO scholar, which informs my approach. Details of my qualifications and training are available on my LinkedIn page – please see the ‘About’ page also!
Within a session, I offer a confidential and safe space for discussion of various issues relating to relationships and sexuality. I strive for a relaxed, informal vibe, where you can chat about something that you have been struggling with. I can offer a friendly and non-judgemental listening ear, suggestions on how you can approach your own personal situation, general information on the related topic(s) and details of relevant professionals, support services and organisations (usually in a follow-up email). I can accommodate sessions relating to many topics relating to relationships and sexuality – including but not limited to body image, sexual communication, consent and boundaries, protection, anatomy, vaginismus, porn, STIs and STI stigma, healthy and unhealthy relationships, gender and sexuality, pleasure, arousal, desire, infidelity, break-ups, dating, and more. I want my clients to feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to talk without fear or shame, like they would with a very close friend!
In a nutshell, you can contact me via the booking page on this site and request a booking. If I decide that a session with me would be a good fit for you, I will contact you and arrange a time and date!
Here is the pricing for sessions;
| Service | Duration | Cost |
| Standard Session | 1 hour | €50 |
| Student* Standard Session | 1 hour | €40 |
| *A valid student I.D. must be presented. |
Please note that the session must be paid for in full at least 24 hours prior to the session, using the payment method and details I will provide to you in an email. If you do not have PayPal, we can arrange another form of payment (Revolut or bank transfer – please factor in the extra time it will take you to set up an account if needed or the possible delay in bank transfers, this may slightly affect the scheduling of your session).
Due to the nature of this service, I cannot offer any refunds for any reason during or after a session.
However, if you have paid and can no longer attend the scheduled session, I can offer you a full refund if you notify me of the cancellation at least 48 hours beforehand. If you wish to reschedule, please notify me at least 48 hours before the time of the scheduled session, and we can work something out!
Imay choose not to do a session with you if I feel that I am unable to offer support or education relating to your situation. I will contact you to let you know if I have decided that my service is not a good fit for you, and I will offer some suggestions regarding more suitable professionals/organisations/services to contact.
Although we may chat about lots of different things during a session, if someone has clearly not been truthful in the booking form about the topic area that want to discuss and appear to have an ulterior motive in booking the session, I may choose to end the session. The same rule applies to a situation where someone is clearly not who they have stated they are in the booking form.
I cannot offer sessions to anyone under the age of 18 years. I may choose to ask you to present a copy of a valid form of I.D. if I feel that confirmation of age is needed. Requesting to book a session indicates that you are aged 18 years or over, and that you are being truthful in disclosing your age.
If I feel that someone is being disrespectful, offensive, or inappropriate, and I feel uncomfortable, I may choose to end the session. I may also end the session if I believe that it is being recorded.
Y
es! Confidentiality is essential to a service like this and I will do everything in my power on my end to protect it.
Here is what I will do on my end; I will abide by GDPR guidelines and make every effort to keep all personal information relating to sessions safe. Booking requests and emails with a form attached/included will be retained for no more than 1 year. The form may be printed, and I may take notes before, during and after the session either by hand or typed. Forms, notes, and USB key will all be stored in a locked file safe in my home office. All forms and notes (hard and soft copies) will be deleted and/or destroyed after one year. I will send you a Zoom Meeting ID and password before the session using the email address you have given me. I will use headphones and will be alone in a private space during all sessions. All records of calls and video calls will be deleted after one year.
Please be mindful of what you choose to share within the session. I have an obligation to break confidentiality and report to Tusla and/or the Gardaí any disclosures of child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and other crimes.
Here is what you must do on your end! You must not screenshot, record and/or distribute any part of your session. It is also your responsibility to protect your privacy as much as you like on your end. This may include keeping your phone password-protected, using a non-identifiable email address that does not include your name, deleting correspondence, making sure you have a private space for your session where you will not be interrupted or overheard, etc.
