Dear Anna*,
I am writing to you from an ever-changing world and as an ever-changing woman. Right now, you are doing things that you think is expected of you at this age. You are rushing into situations because you do not want to be considered “strange” or “weird”. You always considered yourself to be independent and capable, but something has gone amiss lately. You feel lost, incapable, and vulnerable. It would take the wrong person to come along and take advantage of this, which happened.
When it all came crashing down, at first you will feel guilt. Undeniable, everlasting guilt. No matter how many people say what happened was not your fault you always blame yourself. “Maybe I could have been better”, “maybe if I was in a better state of mind it would have worked”. Zero remorse was shown towards you and it was almost like I shouldn’t have expected anything else. People coming up to me implying “how else did you think it would end?”.
Be warned Anna*, the events you are experiencing now will be the trigger for other past thoughts and emotions manifesting themselves. So even though this situation feels major now, it is only minor compared to what is to come, but please keep going. Get the help you need and remember your amazing family and friends you have around you will always be there for you and there is not a moment goes by that they aren’t there supporting you.
On the plus side, eventually that person you loved as a friend and as a boyfriend, who you never thought felt any remorse, will soon apologise and you will learn to forgive. You may even feel grateful for what he did because it enabled you to see how strong you really can be. It also will make you see your worth and show you that no external pressures will ever make you settle for less than you deserve again!
Without this experience you would never have met the people you have – the ones that have shown you your worth, what you deserve and how you should be treated. And although these may not have materialised into serious relationships, you will be proud in knowing that they ended because you put yourself first. You put your own feelings and your own wants and needs first. This may sound selfish to you now but believe me it will be worth it!
The challenges to come will be difficult; dark paths will have to be taken, travelled, and emerged from. However, always know that your inner strength, self-worth, and intelligence continue to grow and flourish, even during your hardest times. You always come out the other side stronger and ready to face the next fight. You have been, and always will be, extremely capable and know your future self is so proud of what you survived and whom you have become. The future is extremely bright, and you are the strongest you have ever been. Remember always, “You got this!”
Love, Anna*.
