Dear 28-year-old me,
This is the most challenging experience since your childhood. You’re scared, and that’s ok. It’s like all those feelings from your childhood are creeping back because you’re back to that vulnerable situation again. It’s terrifying, the uncertainty about your future, and the fear of the unknown… the reality of how complex your health can get is a thought that you don’t like to dwell on too much – because you know it can get to a point of no return – it did for so many others. But now this reality is here, and it puts everything in perspective.
This time round, you have the maturity to express how you feel to those closest to you. This is your journey, and you have the right to feel however you need to in that moment regardless of what others say or do, and regardless of what’s going on around you.
Although, those closest to you are there by your side they don’t know exactly what it’s like to go through what you’re dealing with. That’s the lonely part of this challenge.
Despite all this, you still have the strength to plough through each day as you slowly recover. You know that strength is coming from those looking down on you, from loved ones you once knew and shared joyful memories with you now cherish.
You are discovering a lot about life and about people, those that are there for you and those who aren’t. This is something you will discuss deeper in therapy and it will be a journey you continue to be on for a while. Going forward, remember to keep those closest to you near to your heart and enjoy each memory you make with them – this will be the joy you cherish in the future. Oh, and by the way, this health challenge you’re going through, you will get through it, like all the previous challenges you faced, you’ll overcome this one too. You’re stronger than you think, and loved more than you know.
Much love always,
30-year-old me.
