Fawn’s Letter

To Fawn,


I would love for you to able to read this letter at 22, fresh out of university and going through an unplanned pregnancy. I know you can’t see it now, but the series of events related to this pregnancy will be the making of you. Well the making of more than you. A precious little girl too.

To begin, I would like you to know that being pregnant at 22 does not make you look like you are irresponsible or throwing your life away. You do not need to be embarrassed that your contraception failed, or ashamed of your choices. Do not feel the need to justify yourself to anyone. This is your life, nobody else’s, and these choices are personal to you and you alone. There is no rule book to life, you do not have to travel in your 20s, you do need to have your own house to raise a child. You do not need a certain amount of money to be able to support one. You do not even need a partner, cliché as it sounds, all you need is love and honey you have oceans of that.

Now having an unplanned pregnancy will be hard. Along with that you will have to deal with the break up of the relationship with the father of your child. I need you to know that someone ending a relationship with you is not a reflection of you, it does not mean that you did something, it does not mean you are not good enough or somehow flawed. Everyone does not have to want you or like you. YOU just have to like you. I wish I could go back and give you a hug, to tell you all the lovely things my friends have told me since. You are kind, you are loving, you are smart, you are creative, thoughtful, STRONG and resilient. You do not need a man to raise a child, and being with someone just because you have a child with them is never a good enough reason to continue a relationship. There will be a time you are happy the relationship ended when it did. Trust me. There will be a time when you are happy on your own. You will even happily co-parent your daughter with your ex. You will all move on and put your daughters needs first. The pieces will fit.

You will be scared of being a single mother. You will worry about how it will affect your child, wonder will you be enough, wonder how you will manage. In reality, being a single mother will be some of the most precious and joyful years of your life. You will come out of that era confident and full of clarity. Never again will you feel like you need the approval of others to feel secure. You will be so happy in your bubble with your daughter and your family and friends that you will consider whether you would ever even want to have another relationship. You will realise you do not need a relationship to be happy. You do not need an ‘other half’ You are whole alone. Even if you’re not really alone, as there are little eyes always looking up to you.

You once thought that being a single mother would mean that no man would ever want you again. But you have so many good qualities that make you desirable, having a child does not wash them away, if anything, your child will make them shine, and despite not needing anyone, you will find someone. And they will love your daughter just as much as they love you. They will respect you more for the sacrifices you have made, for the mother that you are. You will wear your title of mother as a badge of honour. Mommy will be the best name you have ever been called. Believe it or not, you will even have two girls calling you that someday.

You are going to make an amazing mother. The journey is going to be really tough and there will be many bumps. But you will take each one on with a heart full of hope. Have faith in yourself, I know it’s scary to take on all this responsibility and you feel so completely lost but one day you’ll look back and realise that becoming a mother is the closest thing you have ever experienced to pure magic.

P. S. You do not need to take 10 pregnancy tests to find out you’re pregnant, one or two should suffice.

Love,
27 year old me xx

Grace Alice Sex And Relationships Educator

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Disclaimer

This service is fully limited to Sexuality Education. All advice is given in an honest manner and as guidance only. By using this service, you agree that you make your own decisions, relying solely on your discretion; any use you make of such answers, advice or services is at your own risk and ‘Grace Alice Sexuality Educator’ cannot be held responsible or be liable for any damages or losses resulting from your reliance on such answers or advice.

What is a peer-to-peer support session?

Firstly, let us start with what the session is not! I am not a practicing sex therapist, sexologist, medical professional, psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional. Therefore, I do not provide medical advice (although I may recommend that you seek guidance from a medical professional if appropriate) or a therapy service.

Sex & Relationships Education is a separate field to these professions, and I employ my own unique approach based on my qualifications, training, and experience. I hold an undergraduate degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters degree in Health Promotion. I have over six years experience working as a Sex & Relationships Educator and have undergone continuous professional development and training. I also studied empathy education as a UNESCO scholar, which informs my approach. Details of my qualifications and training are available on my LinkedIn page – please see the ‘About’ page also!

Within a session, I offer a confidential and safe space for discussion of various issues relating to relationships and sexuality. I strive for a relaxed, informal vibe, where you can chat about something that you have been struggling with. I can offer a friendly and non-judgemental listening ear, suggestions on how you can approach your own personal situation, general information on the related topic(s) and details of relevant professionals, support services and organisations (usually in a follow-up email). I can accommodate sessions relating to many topics relating to relationships and sexuality – including but not limited to body image, sexual communication, consent and boundaries, protection, anatomy, vaginismus, porn, STIs and STI stigma, healthy and unhealthy relationships, gender and sexuality, pleasure, arousal, desire, infidelity, break-ups, dating, and more.  I want my clients to feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to talk without fear or shame, like they would with a very close friend!

How does a Booking work?

In a nutshell, you can contact me via the booking page on this site and request a booking. If I decide that a session with me would be a good fit for you, I will contact you and arrange a time and date!

Here is the pricing for sessions;

ServiceDurationCost
Standard Session1 hour€50
Student* Standard Session1 hour€40
   
*A valid student I.D. must be presented.  

Please note that the session must be paid for in full at least 24 hours prior to the session, using the payment method and details I will provide to you in an email. If you do not have PayPal, we can arrange another form of payment (Revolut or bank transfer – please factor in the extra time it will take you to set up an account if needed or the possible delay in bank transfers, this may slightly affect the scheduling of your session).

Due to the nature of this service, I cannot offer any refunds for any reason during or after a session.

However, if you have paid and can no longer attend the scheduled session, I can offer you a full refund if you notify me of the cancellation at least 48 hours beforehand. If you wish to reschedule, please notify me at least 48 hours before the time of the scheduled session, and we can work something out!

Am I guaranteed to have a session?

Imay choose not to do a session with you if I feel that I am unable to offer support or education relating to your situation. I will contact you to let you know if I have decided that my service is not a good fit for you, and I will offer some suggestions regarding more suitable professionals/organisations/services to contact.

Although we may chat about lots of different things during a session, if someone has clearly not been truthful in the booking form about the topic area that want to discuss and appear to have an ulterior motive in booking the session, I may choose to end the session. The same rule applies to a situation where someone is clearly not who they have stated they are in the booking form. 

I cannot offer sessions to anyone under the age of 18 years. I may choose to ask you to present a copy of a valid form of I.D. if I feel that confirmation of age is needed. Requesting to book a session indicates that you are aged 18 years or over, and that you are being truthful in disclosing your age.

If I feel that someone is being disrespectful, offensive, or inappropriate, and I feel uncomfortable, I may choose to end the session. I may also end the session if I believe that it is being recorded.

Is it all confidential?

Y

es! Confidentiality is essential to a service like this and I will do everything in my power on my end to protect it.

Here is what I will do on my end; I will abide by GDPR guidelines and make every effort to keep all personal information relating to sessions safe. Booking requests and emails with a form attached/included will be retained for no more than 1 year. The form may be printed, and I may take notes before, during and after the session either by hand or typed. Forms, notes, and USB key will all be stored in a locked file safe in my home office. All forms and notes (hard and soft copies) will be deleted and/or destroyed after one year.  I will send you a Zoom Meeting ID and password before the session using the email address you have given me. I will use headphones and will be alone in a private space during all sessions. All  records of calls and video calls will be deleted after one year.

Please be mindful of what you choose to share within the session. I have an obligation to break confidentiality and report to Tusla and/or the Gardaí any disclosures of child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and other crimes.

Here is what you must do on your end! You must not screenshot, record and/or distribute any part of your session. It is also your responsibility to protect your privacy as much as you like on your end. This may include keeping your phone password-protected, using a non-identifiable email address that does not include your name, deleting correspondence, making sure you have a private space for your session where you will not be interrupted or overheard, etc.

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