Maria’s Letter

My darling younger self,


Ah sweet kind funny darling you. I love you, so much. You have no idea how truly lovable you are. Really, it’s true, I promise you, you’ve never been good at lying have you, well then, believe me, you never do learn to lie, and so I’m here to tell you, truthfully, you are so lovable and full of love.


I know that no one ever says these kind of things to you so you’re going to feel really embarrassed and won’t know what to think, it’s ok, you can believe it, you should be told that you are wonderful and told that you are loved, and hugged, every single day, I’m sorry that’s not how our family is.
Things are always tight money wise at home and Mam and Dad never get on, I know that’s really tough and sad. I know you wish that there could be a lot more of the happy times when everyone is in good form. Best thing is to savour those happy days though, enjoy the times when everyone is at ease, really pay attention to everything that happens then, you’ll really like those memories in the future. They will remind you that there were good times too when you were growing up and that’s important. I like to remember you when you were happy, it makes adult you really happy. 

😊

There’s something else I want to say to you that is really really important. Please read this carefully and let it sink in, this is good advice for you in future years!


Firstly – the way Mam and Dad are with each other – that’s not what a good relationship is. It’s not ok to shout and argue and belittle, and follow that with what seems like days of icy silence. It’s not ok that you are so worried that Dad is going to leave because they fight so much and you hear him threatening to. It’s not ok that you are scared of them both because of how they are when they are angry with each other and with all of you. I’m so sorry that it often feels like you’re living in a home full of never ending tension and sadness and anger.
A good relationship between parents is one where both people speak kindly to each other, talk through disagreements in a calm and thoughtful way. A loving relationship is one where both parents are happy and affectionate towards each other. A good relationship is one where people respect each other, never lie, one where both people always have their partners best interests at heart.


A good relationship is NOT the ones you sneakily read about in those Mills and Boon books either! I love you that you are brave enough to read them but they give you the wrong ideas about relationships too! 

😊

 Those guys seem all handsome and powerful but wow they really mess those women around don’t they? They aren’t always kind and they are useless at talking about how they feel – it’s so important to be able to talk about how you feel, you’re going to be really good at that in the future and you should expect any person you date to be able to do that too!


So – don’t settle for anything that seems like Mam and Dads relationship, don’t allow anyone to shout at you or make you feel afraid, don’t be sharp and judgemental when those you care about make mistakes, don’t be impressed by guys who look good but can’t hold their temper or can’t be trustworthy or don’t tell you how they feel about you. You sweet darling girl are worth so much more than that, stay soft but don’t let people treat you badly. Walk away from people who don’t treat you kindly and lovingly, they don’t deserve you.


There’s more to say, for now this is a good first letter to you, I know this will all make sense to you clever girl, I so wish you’d received this letter when you really needed it. I love you, you’re so brave, I wish life was happier, it gets better. xxxx

Grace Alice Sex And Relationships Educator

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Disclaimer

This service is fully limited to Sexuality Education. All advice is given in an honest manner and as guidance only. By using this service, you agree that you make your own decisions, relying solely on your discretion; any use you make of such answers, advice or services is at your own risk and ‘Grace Alice Sexuality Educator’ cannot be held responsible or be liable for any damages or losses resulting from your reliance on such answers or advice.

What is a peer-to-peer support session?

Firstly, let us start with what the session is not! I am not a practicing sex therapist, sexologist, medical professional, psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional. Therefore, I do not provide medical advice (although I may recommend that you seek guidance from a medical professional if appropriate) or a therapy service.

Sex & Relationships Education is a separate field to these professions, and I employ my own unique approach based on my qualifications, training, and experience. I hold an undergraduate degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters degree in Health Promotion. I have over six years experience working as a Sex & Relationships Educator and have undergone continuous professional development and training. I also studied empathy education as a UNESCO scholar, which informs my approach. Details of my qualifications and training are available on my LinkedIn page – please see the ‘About’ page also!

Within a session, I offer a confidential and safe space for discussion of various issues relating to relationships and sexuality. I strive for a relaxed, informal vibe, where you can chat about something that you have been struggling with. I can offer a friendly and non-judgemental listening ear, suggestions on how you can approach your own personal situation, general information on the related topic(s) and details of relevant professionals, support services and organisations (usually in a follow-up email). I can accommodate sessions relating to many topics relating to relationships and sexuality – including but not limited to body image, sexual communication, consent and boundaries, protection, anatomy, vaginismus, porn, STIs and STI stigma, healthy and unhealthy relationships, gender and sexuality, pleasure, arousal, desire, infidelity, break-ups, dating, and more.  I want my clients to feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to talk without fear or shame, like they would with a very close friend!

How does a Booking work?

In a nutshell, you can contact me via the booking page on this site and request a booking. If I decide that a session with me would be a good fit for you, I will contact you and arrange a time and date!

Here is the pricing for sessions;

ServiceDurationCost
Standard Session1 hour€50
Student* Standard Session1 hour€40
   
*A valid student I.D. must be presented.  

Please note that the session must be paid for in full at least 24 hours prior to the session, using the payment method and details I will provide to you in an email. If you do not have PayPal, we can arrange another form of payment (Revolut or bank transfer – please factor in the extra time it will take you to set up an account if needed or the possible delay in bank transfers, this may slightly affect the scheduling of your session).

Due to the nature of this service, I cannot offer any refunds for any reason during or after a session.

However, if you have paid and can no longer attend the scheduled session, I can offer you a full refund if you notify me of the cancellation at least 48 hours beforehand. If you wish to reschedule, please notify me at least 48 hours before the time of the scheduled session, and we can work something out!

Am I guaranteed to have a session?

Imay choose not to do a session with you if I feel that I am unable to offer support or education relating to your situation. I will contact you to let you know if I have decided that my service is not a good fit for you, and I will offer some suggestions regarding more suitable professionals/organisations/services to contact.

Although we may chat about lots of different things during a session, if someone has clearly not been truthful in the booking form about the topic area that want to discuss and appear to have an ulterior motive in booking the session, I may choose to end the session. The same rule applies to a situation where someone is clearly not who they have stated they are in the booking form. 

I cannot offer sessions to anyone under the age of 18 years. I may choose to ask you to present a copy of a valid form of I.D. if I feel that confirmation of age is needed. Requesting to book a session indicates that you are aged 18 years or over, and that you are being truthful in disclosing your age.

If I feel that someone is being disrespectful, offensive, or inappropriate, and I feel uncomfortable, I may choose to end the session. I may also end the session if I believe that it is being recorded.

Is it all confidential?

Y

es! Confidentiality is essential to a service like this and I will do everything in my power on my end to protect it.

Here is what I will do on my end; I will abide by GDPR guidelines and make every effort to keep all personal information relating to sessions safe. Booking requests and emails with a form attached/included will be retained for no more than 1 year. The form may be printed, and I may take notes before, during and after the session either by hand or typed. Forms, notes, and USB key will all be stored in a locked file safe in my home office. All forms and notes (hard and soft copies) will be deleted and/or destroyed after one year.  I will send you a Zoom Meeting ID and password before the session using the email address you have given me. I will use headphones and will be alone in a private space during all sessions. All  records of calls and video calls will be deleted after one year.

Please be mindful of what you choose to share within the session. I have an obligation to break confidentiality and report to Tusla and/or the Gardaí any disclosures of child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and other crimes.

Here is what you must do on your end! You must not screenshot, record and/or distribute any part of your session. It is also your responsibility to protect your privacy as much as you like on your end. This may include keeping your phone password-protected, using a non-identifiable email address that does not include your name, deleting correspondence, making sure you have a private space for your session where you will not be interrupted or overheard, etc.

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