TW: brief mentions of sexual abuse, substance use.
Hello teenage self.
I see you struggling to be in your teenage female body. I see you so uncomfortable with your breasts and how they’ve grown. I hear your thoughts that you fear that your large breasts are some kind of punishment because they were touched by your abusive older brother when you were younger and you kind of enjoyed and fantasized about the pornographic images that he showed you, and that you now feel kind of ashamed of this.
I see you beginning to dabble in acid and other drugs. I can see that you want to be out of your body, far away, up and out, away from feeling. I understand why you want to get away, from your town, your country – to be somewhere where no-one knows you.
I want you to trust yourself, that you will find your way through these times, and you will find your way back into being in your body and loving your body. Your love of sport and movement/dance when you were younger will aid in this healing. And you will not have to do this on your own. You will be supported by really good, sound people.
You will reach your mid 40’s, and be comfortable being you, and your experiences and understanding of struggle and recovery and thriving make you a great mother, wife, worker, sister, dancer, walker, gardener.
Young teenage self, the only way out is through, and you will come out shining, because your inner star was always bright, and you just needed help to warm it back up again. Shine on, and know that your shining helps others.