Grace Alice - Millie's Letter

Hey.

It’s you. You’re 22. Yeah, you made it. Haha. This letter is for you. Some of the stuff you’re going to read in this, you will not want to hear. And I am sorry, but it’s going to help you out.

When you turn 15, a short while after, you’re going to meet a boy who is going to absolutely blow your mind. He will make you feel like you are the only girl in the whole world and will bring you some of the craziest fun you’ve ever had. It only lasts eight months. He f*cks you up for years after that. So please, please. When you go to that house party in February/March 2013, do not let him near you. I won’t go into it, and it does work out okay in the end if you decide to ignore this (which you will), but just don’t even bother. It is really not worth it.

As soon as you start having sex, please use protection. In fact, wait for a person you meet in 2016. Everything before that was WACK. If you do anything I ask in this letter, it’s that! Hahaha. Anyway, back to the contraception. You’re going to need protection against STIs. We’ve ended up with an irreversible form of a pelvic disease. I don’t want to scare you, so I’ll leave it there. But, just do it. Please.

When you turn 21, the month after, you will go to the doctors and ask some questions about your period (yeah, it’s still super heavy!) and he will be very dismissive. Two months later, you will be hospitalised and will be so close to death that you can feel it. Yeah. It was super scary. But Mum was there, your boyfriend was there and your best friend, too. But, I have something magnificent to tell you. After surgery, you have PTSD (this isn’t the amazing part) and so you start counselling. In 2020, you turn into the best version of yourself. That’s me now, and that’s why I’m writing to you with this. Because, at 22, you are everything that you have ever dreamed of.

Let me tell you some things which will reassure you…

Your oldest sibling won’t be able to hurt you anymore. You cut them out when you turn 20. It’s the longest story ever, and when you get there, just have in the back of your mind… “it all changes when I turn 20.”
Your career is flourishing and you’re doing a MASTERS DEGREE. YES. YOU. We did it, gal! Haha! Don’t worry too much about your GCSEs, but work harder than you think you should.
Go hug Mum and apologise. You were probably some kind of bitch today (I’m sorry, it’s true but don’t worry) but you end up being the best of friends. You won’t believe this, but she needs you and you need her. There is a reason that you two are mother and daughter; the connection and understanding you guys have is incomparable. That’s why you guys fight so hard but love even harder. She loves you. And you love her so much.
You’ll meet a guy at 17. You won’t get together until you’re 18. You’ll know exactly who I’m on about when you meet him! Hahaha. I don’t need to give you any advice here. Your relationship is fantastic.

Anyway, I think that’s all the advice I can give you. All I can say is, we f*cking did it. You’re a super stubborn bitch, by the way. You’ll grow out of it by 18/19. But, Jesus Christ, I promise you: you don’t know everything.

Good luck. Love you.

Your older self.

P.s: by the way, you get adult acne. So enjoy your clear skin whilst you still can.

Thank you, I'll be in touch soon...

Disclaimer

This service is fully limited to Sexuality Education. All advice is given in an honest manner and as guidance only. By using this service, you agree that you make your own decisions, relying solely on your discretion; any use you make of such answers, advice or services is at your own risk and ‘Grace Alice Sexuality Educator’ cannot be held responsible or be liable for any damages or losses resulting from your reliance on such answers or advice.

What is a peer-to-peer support session?

Firstly, let us start with what the session is not! I am not a practicing sex therapist, sexologist, medical professional, psychotherapist, psychologist, counsellor, or mental health professional. Therefore, I do not provide medical advice (although I may recommend that you seek guidance from a medical professional if appropriate) or a therapy service.

Sex & Relationships Education is a separate field to these professions, and I employ my own unique approach based on my qualifications, training, and experience. I hold an undergraduate degree in Occupational Therapy and a Masters degree in Health Promotion. I have over six years experience working as a Sex & Relationships Educator and have undergone continuous professional development and training. I also studied empathy education as a UNESCO scholar, which informs my approach. Details of my qualifications and training are available on my LinkedIn page – please see the ‘About’ page also!

Within a session, I offer a confidential and safe space for discussion of various issues relating to relationships and sexuality. I strive for a relaxed, informal vibe, where you can chat about something that you have been struggling with. I can offer a friendly and non-judgemental listening ear, suggestions on how you can approach your own personal situation, general information on the related topic(s) and details of relevant professionals, support services and organisations (usually in a follow-up email). I can accommodate sessions relating to many topics relating to relationships and sexuality – including but not limited to body image, sexual communication, consent and boundaries, protection, anatomy, vaginismus, porn, STIs and STI stigma, healthy and unhealthy relationships, gender and sexuality, pleasure, arousal, desire, infidelity, break-ups, dating, and more. I want my clients to feel relaxed, comfortable, and free to talk without fear or shame, like they would with a very close friend!

How does a Booking work?

In a nutshell, you can contact me via the booking page on this site and request a booking. If I decide that a session with me would be a good fit for you, I will contact you and arrange a time and date!

Here is the pricing for sessions;

Service	Duration	Cost
Standard Session	1 hour	€50
Student* Standard Session	1 hour	€40

*A valid student I.D. must be presented.

Please note that the session must be paid for in full at least 24 hours prior to the session, using the payment method and details I will provide to you in an email. If you do not have PayPal, we can arrange another form of payment (Revolut or bank transfer – please factor in the extra time it will take you to set up an account if needed or the possible delay in bank transfers, this may slightly affect the scheduling of your session).

Due to the nature of this service, I cannot offer any refunds for any reason during or after a session.

However, if you have paid and can no longer attend the scheduled session, I can offer you a full refund if you notify me of the cancellation at least 48 hours beforehand. If you wish to reschedule, please notify me at least 48 hours before the time of the scheduled session, and we can work something out!

Am I guaranteed to have a session?

Imay choose not to do a session with you if I feel that I am unable to offer support or education relating to your situation. I will contact you to let you know if I have decided that my service is not a good fit for you, and I will offer some suggestions regarding more suitable professionals/organisations/services to contact.

Although we may chat about lots of different things during a session, if someone has clearly not been truthful in the booking form about the topic area that want to discuss and appear to have an ulterior motive in booking the session, I may choose to end the session. The same rule applies to a situation where someone is clearly not who they have stated they are in the booking form.

I cannot offer sessions to anyone under the age of 18 years. I may choose to ask you to present a copy of a valid form of I.D. if I feel that confirmation of age is needed. Requesting to book a session indicates that you are aged 18 years or over, and that you are being truthful in disclosing your age.

If I feel that someone is being disrespectful, offensive, or inappropriate, and I feel uncomfortable, I may choose to end the session. I may also end the session if I believe that it is being recorded.

Is it all confidential?

es! Confidentiality is essential to a service like this and I will do everything in my power on my end to protect it.

Here is what I will do on my end; I will abide by GDPR guidelines and make every effort to keep all personal information relating to sessions safe. Booking requests and emails with a form attached/included will be retained for no more than 1 year. The form may be printed, and I may take notes before, during and after the session either by hand or typed. Forms, notes, and USB key will all be stored in a locked file safe in my home office. All forms and notes (hard and soft copies) will be deleted and/or destroyed after one year. I will send you a Zoom Meeting ID and password before the session using the email address you have given me. I will use headphones and will be alone in a private space during all sessions. All records of calls and video calls will be deleted after one year.

Please be mindful of what you choose to share within the session. I have an obligation to break confidentiality and report to Tusla and/or the Gardaí any disclosures of child abuse, sexual abuse, physical abuse and other crimes.

Here is what you must do on your end! You must not screenshot, record and/or distribute any part of your session. It is also your responsibility to protect your privacy as much as you like on your end. This may include keeping your phone password-protected, using a non-identifiable email address that does not include your name, deleting correspondence, making sure you have a private space for your session where you will not be interrupted or overheard, etc.

Millie’s Letter

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